Monday, September 29, 2014

As i sit here alone, but not without some occupancy of loneliness, i read my book on the floor underneath the cool breeze of my window. As my Venetian blinds gently sway and thunk against the glass i can faintly hear violins; Ode to Joy, in fact. I stand in the opening of my window to look down the hill to the apartment below, and in the off-center of the parking-lot stands two people rhythmically undulating with the notes they were creating. They play in the dark facing each other producing soothing vibrations for sometime. When the song ended i clapped; they didn't hear me. Which is just as well, who knows why they would play this late, those two song birds of the night.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Illusion Sleep

So what is it that i want to say? I've been awake for a long time now, not anywhere near ridiculous, not the usual ugly turn of my normal insomnia. This time my sleeplessness feels different than that. When sleep eludes my body feels sluggish until my knees, below them my feet feel as if they could walk and walk and never become tired, sometimes they even urge me to see how far we could get. And as this battle goes on, my mind floats around to trying to sleep, to listening to what's on the tv, around to hearing myself think then back to the tv. But here, this time i am just awake. I glanced over all of the tv shows on my computer and for the first time nothing looks interesting; not even something to turn on to sleep to.

My mind tugged at my writing lobe, but there isn't much there. So what is it that i want to say? Something is troubling me, but i have no idea what it is? Am i homesick because i am back "home" but my family is closer but still a good distance away? I have to consider those words as i type them, this is all being read as i write it, but even to me, the person writing doubts the homesickness theory. It could be simple as something like i am just so damned bored my mind is active from the lack of stimulant.

I've been sitting here watching the cursor blink for nearly five minutes, nothing is coming to mind on how to continue. I think i am just really bored and everything to distract me from it doesn't appear interesting. i guess i'll get up and head to the living room and watch tv until i  am no longer paying attention to it in hopes sleep will find me there.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014


We stepped into our new apartment in the early evening of Aug 20th and it was clear to see for me that i really did miss the California sunsets, for when i stepped into what was going to be my room, even with my window facing north the rays that entered we a ping of nostalgic. For reasons i know that could be explained but i have no wish to truly know, but the sunsets here are pinker than Virginia's. There they are more dark blue, the sun doesn't fight for its light to linger so it easily fades out, leaving a feeling of gloom.

Even though it's only been two weeks in someways i already miss Virginia, for one i miss clouds. It always seemed to be cloudy there, which made for interesting skies to look up into. Here, it's just as i remember it: dead cloudless blue.

I wrote a good amount in my notebook as Ness and I crossed the states something i plan to put in here so i can see them when the notebook itself may be damaged or lost in the ethereal undulating waters of time. But for now my days are filled with gaming, cleaning and making this place a new temporary home before Japan comes screaming in, chewing up all the time i thought i had left to get ready for her. Right now that's my biggest fear; i spent so long just waiting and waiting, not believing it was ever going to happen that when it actually does i won't/don't have enough days to prepare myself for my new adventure. Like skipping out on all my sword practice thinking the final boss would never come to me and my small town, and sure enough he's at the front gate, grinning a green teeth smirk as he darkens my doorstep and knocks.