Friday, September 5, 2014

Illusion Sleep

So what is it that i want to say? I've been awake for a long time now, not anywhere near ridiculous, not the usual ugly turn of my normal insomnia. This time my sleeplessness feels different than that. When sleep eludes my body feels sluggish until my knees, below them my feet feel as if they could walk and walk and never become tired, sometimes they even urge me to see how far we could get. And as this battle goes on, my mind floats around to trying to sleep, to listening to what's on the tv, around to hearing myself think then back to the tv. But here, this time i am just awake. I glanced over all of the tv shows on my computer and for the first time nothing looks interesting; not even something to turn on to sleep to.

My mind tugged at my writing lobe, but there isn't much there. So what is it that i want to say? Something is troubling me, but i have no idea what it is? Am i homesick because i am back "home" but my family is closer but still a good distance away? I have to consider those words as i type them, this is all being read as i write it, but even to me, the person writing doubts the homesickness theory. It could be simple as something like i am just so damned bored my mind is active from the lack of stimulant.

I've been sitting here watching the cursor blink for nearly five minutes, nothing is coming to mind on how to continue. I think i am just really bored and everything to distract me from it doesn't appear interesting. i guess i'll get up and head to the living room and watch tv until i  am no longer paying attention to it in hopes sleep will find me there.

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